Hello, my name is Janette. Welcome to If Love Hurts and I hope that you find this site informative and helpful.

I am a mum of six children and was in a relationship for 19 years.

Over those years, I felt the confusion of not being able to work out what was wrong in my marriage, yet knowing that something was.  The confusion of not knowing if what I was experiencing was a normal part of marriage or not.  The confusion of not being able to understand the rollercoaster of emotions that I felt every day.

I was tired from the inner conflict of believing that marriage was important and not to be thrown away, yet being constantly exhausted at trying ways to fix the relationship.  The conflict of wanting to create a secure two-parent family unit for my children, but without them being affected by the tension in the house.  The conflict of wanting to help my husband with his own hurt while also wanting him to stop hurting me.

I felt that I was going mad.  Each time that I thought I understood what was bothering him and how he felt, something changed again.  The words that he said in one conversation would contradict with his words in a later conversation.  Nothing matched up or made sense, leaving me to think that I was going crazy.

My Intention

When I decided to create this site, my intention was to help those who feel that they are hurting in their relationship but don’t know why and may feel that the relationship is ‘normal’.

I have also written a book to provide more in depth information which also includes my personal story of living in an abusive relationship.

If this site or my book helps just one person to see through the fog of confusion, break free and be happy again, then I will have achieved my aim.

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